Shotgun Wedding - Steven Thor Gunnin

Author: Steven Thor Gunnin Date: any time Setting: a small-town chapel in Hobb's End Availability: in the anthology Consequences

Story: Jake, wielding a shotgun, is determined that the preacher is going to make his wedding to Peggy legal. Not everyone agrees that this is a good idea.

Commentary: "Shotgun Wedding" is a very short story, and yet it manages to get in several good twists and a play on words. If I say much about it at all, I'll be giving too much away. The coarse speech pattern of Jake is totally believable. On the other hand, there are some repetitious or awkward phrases that detract from the readability, and one break in point of view.

On the whole, the story works well, and provides the reader with an interesting take on the title phrase.

Author info: Steven Thor Gunnin is a graphic designer who writes in his spare time, and is a big fan of George Romero (Night of the Living Dead). He has had other stories published in Elements of the Soul Consequences is available as a paperback, or in ebook format.

Rating:
Language skills 5
Depth of meaning 5

The Night the Ghost Got In - James Thurber

Author: James Thurber Date: 1933 Setting: 1915- the author's childhood home Availability: Read The Night the Ghost Got In on line, free

Story: Told in the first person, a boy hears someone walking around the dining room table. He is upstairs, just getting out of the bath. Realizing that no one should be downstairs, he wakes his brother, who refuses to go down with him to check it out. The boys accidentally wake their mother, who of course, assumes that the walker is a burglar, not a ghost.

What ensues is a hilarious comedy of errors. But "none of us ever heard the ghost again."

Commentary: Thurber is one of my all time favorite authors. Most of his short stories are humorous, and they range from tongue-in-cheek to tales that will make you laugh out loud. "The Night the Ghost Got In" is very short, but it succeeds in its goal of being funny.

The point of this story is, of course, not whether there really was a ghost, but the crazy reactions that occurred as a result of hearing sounds that could not be accounted for. In fact, Thurber tells us in the second sentence exactly what is going to happen. He says "Its advent caused my mother to throw a shoe through a window of the house next door, and ended up with my grandfather shooting a patrolman." The beauty of the story is that, even though he's just told you the entire plot, you have to keep reading to find out how a ghost could have caused those bizarre events.

The stories Thurber tells of his childhood are at least partially fictionalized, but this story is based on definite facts. Thurber did hear this "ghost" walking around the table in the dining room, the year he was a junior in college (1912). He researched the house, and discovered that other owners had also heard the same sounds (choosing to move rather than live with it), and that there had been a man, 45 years previous, who had paced around the table in nervous frustration before running up the stairs to shoot himself.

If anyone wants to write humor, they would do well to study James Thurber's writing. He is a master of timing and of tweaking a story so as to make it funny rather than just exposition.

His stories are self-illustrated. Thurber's cartoon style is sketchy but unique, and anyone who is familiar with it will instantly recognize a Thurber cartoon.

Author info: James Thurber, 1894-1861, grew up in Columbus, Ohio. His father was often out of work, and his mother was a great practical joker. It is believed that many of his story ideas came from observing his parents. Playing William Tell with his brothers, as a child, James lost one eye. This forced him into more mental pursuits, rather than sports, and he turned to writing as a creative outlet. His collections of short stories are still well-read. Thurber is one of the classic American humorists.

Rating:
Language skills 8
Depth of meaning 7

 

The Magic Fishbone - Charles Dickens

Author: Charles Dickens Date: 1867 Setting: England in the 1860s Availability: Read The Magic Fishbone on line, free

Story: Alicia, age seven, is the oldest of 19 children. She lives with her father, King Watkins I, and her mother the Queen. Alicia takes care of all the Princes and Princesses, and they all take care of the baby. The King works in a government office where payday is never often enough! One day he stops at the fishmonger’s to buy some salmon and meets the Good Fairy Grandmarina. Grandmarina instructs him to tell Alicia to save the fishbone that is left on her plate after the salmon is eaten and to polish it till it shines like mother-of-pearl.

If she saves that fishbone until just the right moment, and then makes a wish, her wish will be granted. But she must use it at the right time.

Alicia does save and polish the fishbone, and keeps it in her pocket. She then proceeds to solve the many day-to-day problems of a household with so many children. As each difficult situation arises, she considers using the magic fishbone, but always decides that she can “snip and stitch and cut and contrive” to find a solution. Until one day...

Commentary: This was one of my favorite stories as a child, but it is not well-known. Although it is clearly for young readers, it was written when children’s stories were not reduced to vocabularies of 100 words. Any adult will be quick to catch the meaning behind the story: that we can usually solve the problems that face us, and only need to call in special help when we have truly done all we can on our own.

Children find the reprimands of Grandmarina to the “King” delightful- even the King can’t get away with being foolish when confronted with a fairy. To an adult reader it might seem that Alicia doesn’t hold out long enough before using the magic fishbone, but to a child, her ministrations to the household are quite extraordinary. Alicia’s eventual decision to use the magic fishbone is not a selfish one.

The real is whimsically mixed with the pretend in a way that only children accept without question. The illustrations by S. Beatrice Pearse are wonderful- some are line drawings and some in full color. Dickens attributed the story to a seven-year-old, Miss Alice Rainbird, but common belief is that she was a literary device, not a real girl.

Author info: Charles Dickens 1812-1870, is known for his novels that eloquently called for social reform without being political. He called upon detailed recollections of people and places from his life for many of the settings. Oliver Twist, David Copperfield, A Christmas Carol and other works are still highly acclaimed and read 150 years later, making him one of the truly classic authors. He is known for Gothic settings, intricate and odd characters, and ironic humor. His works are often satirized, because the characters are so easily turned into "cartoons."

Unusual Words:
quarterday- a quarterly payday



Rating:
Language skills 10
Depth of meaning 7

Liberty Hall - Ring Lardner

Author: Ring Lardner Date: 1924 Setting: New York and environs in the 1920s Availability: in various collections, see link below

Story: Ben Drake is a well-known writer of scores for musical comedies. He is a man who knows what he likes in terms of comfort, but he has trouble standing up to people who have differing ideas. When at home he can have “a decent light for reading in bed,... coffee, any time... “, etc. However, as celebrities, he and his wife are always being invited to people’s homes. Ben can tolerate dinner and bridge, but hates to stay overnight.

In fact, he is often so annoyed at the small impositions of staying at someone else’s home that he has devised a series of fake telegrams to be sent to him. His secretary wires one, 24 hours after he leaves for any visit, which contains some emergency message having to do with the current show. Ben can choose whether to ignore the telegram, or use it as an excuse to leave post-haste. After several stays at less-than-satisfactory homes, he decides to go on no more extended visits.

Then Ben and his wife make the acquaintance of the Thayers. Much to their surprise, they like this couple quite a lot, and accept an invitation to spend a week at their home, just after the opening of a play. The promise is that the Drakes can use their guest room, named “Liberty Hall,” and won’t be bothered by anyone at all. They decide to go.

Immediately, Mrs. Thayer begins insisting on having things done in a certain way to please Drake. While sounding like the perfect hostess, she is actually a tyrant. He likes his coffee black. She insists that he will love their fresh cream, and forces it on him. She takes away his favorite brand of cigarette, and insists that he will enjoy their more expensive brand better. This basic scene continues through a long litany of kindnesses. Mr. Thayer takes Drake on a tour of the shrubbery, believing that he will enjoy his walks more if he understands the botany. Finally, when Ben wants to use the piano to reinforce a tune he just thought up, Mrs. Thayer refuses to let him, because she says he’s trying to be polite and play for them. The examples go on and on. Drake just wants to be left alone, but seems powerless to exert his will beyond a vague mention of discomfort at the beginning of each incident.

Even his emergency extraction ploy fails him when the indomitable Mrs. Thayer intercepts the telegram. How can he escape from Liberty Hall?

Commentary:The story is told by Drake's wife in a conversational tone, with run-on sentences, and little asides. We are drawn in, as if we are being let in on a great, personal bit of humorous family gossip.

The story is funny on many levels. We’ve all suffered from too much “kindness” by those who think they know what we want, better than we do. Irony is at play in both the title “Liberty Hall” (yet they find no liberty there), and when we learn that Ben is a member of the “Lamb’s Club.” The sheer repetition of the various ways in which Mrs. Thayer manages to torment Ben will almost bring on the giggles.

On a deeper level, "Liberty Hall" explores class structure, and tyranny. Although the Drakes are famous and the Thayers are just admirers, the Thayers hold the upper hand because Ben seems unable to assert himself enough to insist on simple things which give him great pleasure. He’d rather run away and hide than act in a way which might be construed as impolite.

Written in the 1920s, the story is probably also poking fun at the concept of it being a man’s world, and yet women control men in so many ways.

Memorable quotes: "I really believe he would prefer to spend a week in the death house in Sing Sing than in somebody else’s house."

Author info: Ring Lardner 1885 – 1933, was an American sportswriter and author of satirical short stories. His favorite themes were sports, marriage and the theatre. Lardner grew up in Michigan, the youngest of nine children. His unusual name was a shortened form of Ringgold, bestowed on him by a father who admired the distinguished Rear Admiral Cadwalader Ringgold. He was a master of using vernacular language to create the ambiance for a story, and is credited with influencing such writers as Hemingway, and F. Scott Fitzgerald. Tragically, he died at age 48 of tuberculosis.

Rating:
Language skills 10
Depth of meaning 10